New Years Resolution…To Deserve Better
getting out of the house fast in the morning
Okay, you hit the snooze button. 5 more minutes turned into twenty and now you are jumping out of bed frantic to get out of the house. Sad to say, but this is me every morning. But I have found ways to get my morning routine done in less than 20 minutes. That is including hair, makeup, and a cute outfit that actually matches with breakfast to go.
- Breakfast is Important
I stock up every week on breakfast foods that I can grab and go to get out of the house as quick as possible. My usual go to are frozen waffles that usually pop out of the toaster by the time my coffee stops brewing or bagels. I also stock up on fruit so I can eat in the car on my way to work. If you stock your kitchen with breakfast foods, you can still have breakfast even though you are running late out the door.
- When Beauty Sleep Doesn’t Do The Trick
I know I am not alone when I say that when I wake up, I do not look like a movie star waking up in a movie. My hair is messed up, my eye makeup that didn’t come off the night before is around my eyes, simply put I look like a hot mess. Right now I am using Bare Minerals Liquid Foundation, Maybelline Under Eye Concealer, my Naked 3 eyeshadow palette to brighten my eyes, a swoop of eyeliner and Better Than Sex mascara to open my eyes. And of course, a little bit of Physicians Formula Butter Bronzer and Fit ME blush to brighten my face.
- Plan Your Outfit the Night Before
Or just have a really organized closet. I have previously talked about my closet HERE and how I keep it organized. I have my work clothes hanging and my pants and skirts all in one place so I can easily make a work outfit.
how millennials define success
I am a month shy of my one year anniversary of working retail. A job that was supposed to be a short term job while I transitioned into another job. Whelp. It has been a year and I can actually say that I love my job and more doors are opening for me taking on more responsibility at work. I know I am not the first to stalk my friends from college to see what they are doing, how they are doing. I think we define our success by comparing it to how our friends are doing. Where are they working? How much are they working? How many friends they have? What their Instagram says about them.
I scroll on Facebook at night and I see friends on cruises, living in New York City in a hip apartment, killing it at their job, or brunching on Sunday’s with really cool Instagram photos to prove it. When my friends and I get together, we get to goof off and laugh together. Pose for a picture or snap a picture of our food to Instagram to prove to our friends on social media that we still hang out. We also break down with the honest truth when we get asked how we are doing. It is nice to have a group of people in my life who listen when I admit that my life is not as glamorous as it is in my Instagram photos. We all graduated at the same time, but it is amazing to see that we are all on different paths. All accomplishing different things. We are all going through different stages of life
How I define success is not the same as how one of my friends defines success. A college friend of mine called me out of the blue. I was very concerned when I saw his name pop on my phone thinking something was wrong. The only communication we have had since graduation was the occasional snapchat, photo like or random text saying we miss each other. When I answered the phone, he asked me how I was doing. At first I started to say I was great, because that is what we all say right? We both started to tell each other how great we were doing…and then started to laugh because we started to roll off what was going wrong in our lives like a grocery list. Never ending.
When our parents were our age, success was defined differently. They wanted other things. They were buying houses, not spending all of their money on avocado toast ha!! Further proof, that what our parents had, what they want for us, is not what we may want for ourselves. Only we can define what success is.
I thought I would share how I define success on the blog. Since there is no true definition of success, it can be tricky to answer that for ourselves. Do we define it with our career? How Pinterest worthy our apartment is? How many friends we have? How many followers we have on Instagram?
When I graduated college, I took a job working for my town. Within months, I had picked up 4 other job titles, more responsibility came with respect. And I grew to hate it because while I worked my butt off, I wasn’t getting paid for the work I was doing. I put in my resignation and got a part time job working at a college as well as a job working retail to help pay my bills. So here I am a year later… and even though I am not as financially stable as I would like to be, I really do love my job.
When I was talking to my friend on the phone, he was doing very well as a project manager making good money. However, he was overwhelmed by the responsibilities he had causing him to dislike his job. It doesn’t matter how much money you make at a job, what matters most is if you like your job. We spend the majority of our life working so make sure you find a job that you love. Being financial stable is lovely, but make sure you like your job. Loving what you do motivates you to wake up in the morning, encourages you to grow and gives you a purpose.
While we scroll on Instagram, we compare ourselves to other people. I love social media for many reasons. A way to stay connected, to get inspired, the list goes on and on. It is also a place that has a lot of negativity. Something I have spent a lot of time on this past year is learning to love myself. It has been a very difficult challenge. One that has good days and bad days. But I know that I cannot have good relationships with others if I don’t love myself first. As I write this, I have a giant zit on my face, but I no longer allow superficial things like this get in my way. I have learned to become more independent, accepting that only I control my own happiness. With a bit of concealer, a whole lot of mascara and a cute outfit, I know that anything is possible!
A big source of my happiness comes from the friends I have in my life. I don’t need a lot of friends, I just need good people to surround myself with. I can be failing at life, but I know I will be okay when I have my people around me.
Understanding that plans don’t work out the way we plan and accepting that makes things a lot easier. I made plans…a lot of them. And none of them have gone as planned. I know that I will end up where I am supposed to be. I didn’t plan on being a manager at a J. Crew when I graduated from college. But I decided to stop trying to control everything, and just see how it all plays out. We cannot control our success. Our success is not on a map for us to see ahead of time. We have to just do our best, surround ourselves with good people, stop comparing ourselves to others and just do our best.
By having a healthy relationship with ourselves, we can have healthy relationships with the people around us. Success cannot be easily defined. Each stage in your life, success has to be redefined. Right now in my life success to me is finding good people to surround myself with. In a year or two, that definition of success will change. Let me know how you define success in the comments. I would love to know!
As you go through life you’ll see there is so much that we don’t understand. And the only thing we know is things don’t always go the way we planned
I graduated from college in May of 2015 and took a job working for my town as a temporary job until I got a job and the funds to move back to Philadelphia. A year rolled by and I was still at the job I told myself I would only stay at for the summer. I was bored, working long days, had a lot of responsibility and not enough support. Most importantly, I wasn’t getting paid enough in my opinion. In August of 2016, I put in my two month notice and decided to quit my job. I had no back up job planned or plans to get another one. I just knew I had to quit my job. For someone who has her day all planned out, this was very stressful for me to do, but I knew it was time to leave that job.
The last week of September was my final week at my job and that Friday I hopped on a plane and went to Nashville with some college friends. When the plane took off, I didn’t have a job to come back to. But when my plane landed, I had picked up two part time jobs to start the following week. Since October of 2016, I have been working part time at a college in New Jersey and working part time at J. Crew. These were jobs I could work to pay my bills until I found a full time job or figured out if I could move t to a new state. I started making plans to move out of my parents house and move to Philadelphia, but financially I could not find a job that would allow me to afford an apartment and still pay for my car and student loan at the same time. Once again, I was stuck putting my plans on hold to move out. I started to dread working at the college. It became a part time desk job that was a little boring to be honest. I preferred my retail job and was always volunteering to pick up extra hours and such. When Christmas rolled by, friends and family started to ask what I was doing. I would respond that I was working 7 days a week working two part time jobs. To be honest, I didn’t know how to answer because I did not know what I was doing with my life. I was able to make my schedule at the college just two days a week and still get everything done. The rest of my week, I spent at J. Crew working almost 40 hours a week. I was tired. I was always running around. But I love being busy. Free time is a bit confusing for me because I am not sure what to do with it.
In May, I started making plans to move again. I started to apply to jobs and see if the universe was telling me that I was meant to move there. I found an apartment, was sending out cover letters and resumes. I was typing up my two weeks notice letter for the job at the college thrilled that I wouldn’t have to do that long commute anymore. But the Universe had other plans for me. In June, my old job working with my town asked me to come back as a consultant and plan the town 4th of July parade because they didn’t have someone to plan it and I had done it the past year. I told myself that after the parade I would go back to trying to find a job and working on the move. I started to pack up boxes and label them for the move.
A few days later, I was given the opportunity to take on more responsibility at J. Crew and become an Assistant Manager at my store. I was called into the back office one day thinking I was going to get in trouble and instead this opportunity was presented to me. I think I awkwardly laughed when this opportunity was presented to me. Here I was making plans and the Universe was sending me off on another direction. Of course I accepted it, but still planned on coming back to the plans of moving in the future.
I went to college and worked hard to get a degree in Sociology and Management while working multiple jobs as well as internships to make my resume perfect for post-grad. I took a desk job to use it as a stepping stone to move to another company. But the more time I spent at a desk doing work, the more I dreaded going to work. In college, I spent my summers in retail and knew it would be a job I could do. I would go in and not have to take my work home with me and I am a social person so I have always enjoyed working retail. Never did I imagine that a career in retail is where I saw myself headed.
My parents and I paid a very pretty penny for my degree in sociology so I could work in nonprofits. A job I have wanted to do since I was 7 years old. In college, my friends and I had all of these plans and dreams of changing the world. But when we get together, I hear stories about how they have changed jobs multiple times or are going in a different field than what they got their degree in. My part time job at J. Crew was supposed to be for making money to pay for my car payments, but instead I fell in love with it. Not once have I dreaded going into work. I go into J. Crew and get to work on projects, design displays, dress strangers and I have an amazing team to work with.
This is not the life I had planned for myself back in 2015. Is it possible to say that it is even better than I imagined? If you are not where you thought you would be in your life, it is okay! It’s funny how we make detailed plans for our life, and they never work out the way we want them to. Even though we know that life does not go as planned, we continue to plan out our lives and continue to get disappointed when they don’t go as planned. I had planned to have my own apartment by now, brunching with the girlfriends on Sundays, going to the gym everyday and have a lot more money in my savings account than I do now. But right now, I am still living with my parents, I spent my Sundays at J. Crew and definitely have less than I want in my savings account.
Right now I am going with the flow and excited to see where the Universe takes me. My to do lists are less about where I want to be in life, but instead are filled with items I don’t need from Target!