I love kicking off every December with a to-do list. It might seem like an odd way to welcome the holiday season, but with so much packed into one month, a little planning goes a long way. Organizing my schedule helps ensure there’s actually time to slow down—time to sit by the decorated tree and watch Christmas movies. A few years ago, I realized that when I’m intentional about how I spend my days, I can create all the Christmas magic and enjoy the season without feeling overwhelmed. Everyone’s December looks different, and that’s perfectly okay!
Decorate your home, one space at a time. Don’t put pressure on yourself to do the whole thing overnight! I like to pick a space to decorate after work and just do a little bit at a time.
Wear those Christmas pajamas. There is just something cozy about wearing my Christmas red and plaid in December.
Christmas movies. We try to watch one a night, even if it’s on the TV in the background.
Christmas cards. We order a batch from minted.com to send to our families, but I also hand out cute Christmas cards to coworkers and friends!
Christmas Village. Every year, Philly shows off during December with the Christmas Village and the tree in Rittenhouse Park. After work, we will walk around the city, and it feels like a Hallmark movie.
Bake cookies. Each year, I bake a ton of cookies and give them to coworkers. I start to get cookie requests in November, and it’s something we all look forward to!
Volunteer. This year, we donated food to a neighborhood food pantry, and it’s an easy way to give back. We volunteer at a toy drive every year, and it’s so rewarding.
Christmas sheets. It’s something new I have been doing lately, and it totally gets me into the Christmas mood!
Tree in the bedroom. Last year, I put a tree in our bedroom with just lights on and now I love crawling into bed with the tree on at night.
My parents threw us an engagement party in their backyard in North Carolina a few weeks ago. My mom mentioned if we were free in June she could throw us a little party to celebrate our engagement. June was a busy month for both Jake and me. He’s constantly traveling for work and even though we put his work trips on our family calendar that hangs on the fridge, I still can’t keep track of where he is each week. I was in that weird part of the school year where we were winding down the school year but that meant we had to put in the extra work to put together an end-of-school-year field day and celebration party while also planning six weeks of summer camp that started shortly after the last day of school. When my mom asked what weekend worked for us in early June, I squinted at our family calendar for June and squinted to make sense of when we were “free” and gave her a weekend. The last week of school slowly made its way, and I spent my nights baking for school events and waking up early to get work done in the office to prep for summer or attend the Fifth Grade Graduation ceremony. When that last day of school came and went, I was scheduled to attend an all-day training at Temple University to learn “what summer camp looks like”. I found myself falling asleep in the back row of these workshops asking why these couldn’t have been an email?
I saw on my calendar how little time I had before camp started. I was sitting in another training on Monday when I realized that the next Monday camp started, and I needed a break. I asked/told work that I was leaving for North Carolina on Wednesday. That Wednesday, we slept later than we would have liked and started packing. We didn’t know what the long weekend at my parents’ house would look like, so we packed a little bit of everything, but the biggest priority was bathing suits. I think both of us were more excited about the pool time than the party! While packing we both realized we didn’t have anything to wear for the engagement party, so we made a mental note to buy something to wear down there.
Our original plan was to drive to my parents’ house on that Friday to be there for the party on Saturday, so my parents were still in cleaning and planning mode when we got there. I saw with my own eyes that this small party with her friends had turned into an event. Did you ever watch Downton Abbey or Bridgerton and see the servants running around the days before to prepare the flowers, the China, and the food? Well, my parents’ house was like that without the Mr. Carson and other servants there to do the work. My mom handmade invitations to her White Party where guests are instructed to wear white. She also hand-delivered each one to 50 of her friends in the neighborhood to invite them to the party. On Friday morning before 8AM, I drank my cup of coffee out of a Le Creuset coffee mug and watched as different parts of the party prep came together like a rehearsed dance with the choreography. At 7AM, a large tent went up in my parent’s side yard, and when the tent was just finished being assembled, the landscapers came to mow the grass just in time before the chair rental delivery was coming to drop off 50 chairs. This was all choreographed so well because a party for 50 people is considered a small get-together for my parent’s as they often entertain people in the hundreds in their backyard. As Jake and I watched the comings and goings of tent assembly, landscapers on their mowers mowing the large lawn and my dad on the phone with the chair rental company, Jake leaned in and whispered “ I sometimes forget you come from this world”. He didn’t mean it as anything negative, but my parents have always entertained in their home, and growing up meant I was there to assist and play hostess. It’s one of the things I look forward to when we get married. I can’t wait to be able to host parties and get-togethers with friends and family at our house like my parents did growing up.
One exciting surprise earlier in the day when Jake was making floral arrangements for the table and I was cleaning out the large cooler, my dad shouted for us to come by the pool, another part of my parents’ large yard. We were confused as to why we were told to do one task and then asked to go somewhere else, but when we went through the gate that led to the pool, Jake’s parents were hidden around a bush to yell out surprise! Jake’s family drove up from Florida to be able to celebrate our engagement with us and it was so nice for the families to arrange!
The party started at 5PM and at 4:45 PM I was still drying my hair. I told Jake to go down without me and I’d be behind him shortly. As I sat on the floor in front of the mirror in my bedroom at my parents’ house, it finally hit me. The last few weeks were busy with school and work, so I kept thinking of this party as just another thing on my to-do list. It wasn’t until I was sitting on the floor listening to Britney Spears on my phone that I had that realization. I am getting ready for my engagement party because I am going to get married. Oh my gosh, I am going to get married.
So much of this wedding planning has gone smoothly because we are older and have the money to select the vendors we want and can pay for vendors instead of DIYing anything. Even when the planning got stressful, like not being able to find someone available to do hair and makeup, within a week I was able to find vendors. For the most part, I’ve had fun planning this wedding and adding a lot of fun surprises for our guests to enjoy. But during this whole process, I don’t think we took the time to celebrate that we were getting married. So much of wedding planning is contracts and making decisions. While I was zipping up my new white dress and slipping on my heels, I decided it was time for me to lean in and enjoy being celebrated.
“So, I heard you’re getting married in a castle!” The party had already started when I walked out back, and the guests had drinks in their hands. A group of women came up to me to wish me congratulations and started asking questions about the wedding. These questions they already knew the answers to because my mom had been sharing our wedding details with her friends who were in awe. My mom saw me in the crowd and took me by the arm to introduce the Bride To Be to the guests. Jake and I earlier had volunteered to bartend, so we went out and got ingredients to make 3 signature drinks that were special to us: Pimms, Aperol Spritz, and Mojitos. Jake was sweaty behind the bar making drinks but saw me whisper “APEROL” and he nodded to let me know he heard loud and clear.
While being introduced to guests, I got close to the bar area and an Aperol was placed in my hands. I continued my nodding and small talk, sharing the wedding planning and answering questions the guests had. It was nice to see our two families mingling with guests and each other. Jake’s dad was helping him behind the bar, and Jake was having to explain again and again what an Aperol was since the guests had never heard of them. After Cocktail Hour, we made our way to the tent where my mom set up a long table with her crisp white tablecloths, fine white China, and a hint of greenery in the middle to go along with her White Party theme. Guests were awing at the attention to detail my mom had while planning this party. No detail was overlooked. My parents cooked and brought out dinner on large serving dishes placed on the table for a family-style dinner. Guests mingled and raised their glasses to toast the couple. Once the sun was set and the string of lights that my dad hung up in the tent was the only source of light, is when some guests started to say their goodbyes and when the good liquor came out. I kicked off my heels and sipped on a cold Aperol Spritz enjoying how wonderful the night went. Both of our families were sitting around the table, laughing with each other and guests. The same stories were being told and my mom after having a few drinks, waved her hand and said that’s a problem for tomorrow when someone asked if my parents needed help bringing the glasses and plates into the house.
I wish I could have turned that happy and carefree energy into a ball to put into a jar to save for our wedding. My goal for our special day in October is for guests to stay late, sit around a table with dim lighting, and laugh over a drink. The planning that goes into a wedding for 100 or a dinner party for 50 people is different in many ways but similar in the amount of work that goes into it. I hope that I’m just as carefree at the end of the night in October running barefoot on the lawn after a few too many glasses of wine.
If this party taught me anything, is that no matter what is going on with work and our lives, we need to slow down and truly enjoy the next few months as we celebrate we are getting married.
Okay, you hit the snooze button. 5 more minutes turned into twenty and now you are jumping out of bed frantic to get out of the house. Sad to say, but this is me every morning. But I have found ways to get my morning routine done in less than 20 minutes. That is including hair, makeup, and a cute outfit that actually matches with breakfast to go.
Breakfast is Important
I stock up every week on breakfast foods that I can grab and go to get out of the house as quick as possible. My usual go to are frozen waffles that usually pop out of the toaster by the time my coffee stops brewing or bagels. I also stock up on fruit so I can eat in the car on my way to work. If you stock your kitchen with breakfast foods, you can still have breakfast even though you are running late out the door.
When Beauty Sleep Doesn’t Do The Trick
I know I am not alone when I say that when I wake up, I do not look like a movie star waking up in a movie. My hair is messed up, my eye makeup that didn’t come off the night before is around my eyes, simply put I look like a hot mess. Right now I am using Bare Minerals Liquid Foundation, Maybelline Under Eye Concealer, my Naked 3 eyeshadow palette to brighten my eyes, a swoop of eyeliner and Better Than Sex mascara to open my eyes. And of course, a little bit of Physicians Formula Butter Bronzer and Fit ME blush to brighten my face.
Plan Your Outfit the Night Before
Or just have a really organized closet. I have previously talked about my closet HERE and how I keep it organized. I have my work clothes hanging and my pants and skirts all in one place so I can easily make a work outfit.
I am a month shy of my one year anniversary of working retail. A job that was supposed to be a short term job while I transitioned into another job. Whelp. It has been a year and I can actually say that I love my job and more doors are opening for me taking on more responsibility at work. I know I am not the first to stalk my friends from college to see what they are doing, how they are doing. I think we define our success by comparing it to how our friends are doing. Where are they working? How much are they working? How many friends they have? What their Instagram says about them.
I scroll on Facebook at night and I see friends on cruises, living in New York City in a hip apartment, killing it at their job, or brunching on Sunday’s with really cool Instagram photos to prove it. When my friends and I get together, we get to goof off and laugh together. Pose for a picture or snap a picture of our food to Instagram to prove to our friends on social media that we still hang out. We also break down with the honest truth when we get asked how we are doing. It is nice to have a group of people in my life who listen when I admit that my life is not as glamorous as it is in my Instagram photos. We all graduated at the same time, but it is amazing to see that we are all on different paths. All accomplishing different things. We are all going through different stages of life
How I define success is not the same as how one of my friends defines success. A college friend of mine called me out of the blue. I was very concerned when I saw his name pop on my phone thinking something was wrong. The only communication we have had since graduation was the occasional snapchat, photo like or random text saying we miss each other. When I answered the phone, he asked me how I was doing. At first I started to say I was great, because that is what we all say right? We both started to tell each other how great we were doing…and then started to laugh because we started to roll off what was going wrong in our lives like a grocery list. Never ending.
When our parents were our age, success was defined differently. They wanted other things. They were buying houses, not spending all of their money on avocado toast ha!! Further proof, that what our parents had, what they want for us, is not what we may want for ourselves. Only we can define what success is.
I thought I would share how I define success on the blog. Since there is no true definition of success, it can be tricky to answer that for ourselves. Do we define it with our career? How Pinterest worthy our apartment is? How many friends we have? How many followers we have on Instagram?
When I graduated college, I took a job working for my town. Within months, I had picked up 4 other job titles, more responsibility came with respect. And I grew to hate it because while I worked my butt off, I wasn’t getting paid for the work I was doing. I put in my resignation and got a part time job working at a college as well as a job working retail to help pay my bills. So here I am a year later… and even though I am not as financially stable as I would like to be, I really do love my job.
When I was talking to my friend on the phone, he was doing very well as a project manager making good money. However, he was overwhelmed by the responsibilities he had causing him to dislike his job. It doesn’t matter how much money you make at a job, what matters most is if you like your job. We spend the majority of our life working so make sure you find a job that you love. Being financial stable is lovely, but make sure you like your job. Loving what you do motivates you to wake up in the morning, encourages you to grow and gives you a purpose.
While we scroll on Instagram, we compare ourselves to other people. I love social media for many reasons. A way to stay connected, to get inspired, the list goes on and on. It is also a place that has a lot of negativity. Something I have spent a lot of time on this past year is learning to love myself. It has been a very difficult challenge. One that has good days and bad days. But I know that I cannot have good relationships with others if I don’t love myself first. As I write this, I have a giant zit on my face, but I no longer allow superficial things like this get in my way. I have learned to become more independent, accepting that only I control my own happiness. With a bit of concealer, a whole lot of mascara and a cute outfit, I know that anything is possible!
A big source of my happiness comes from the friends I have in my life. I don’t need a lot of friends, I just need good people to surround myself with. I can be failing at life, but I know I will be okay when I have my people around me.
Understanding that plans don’t work out the way we plan and accepting that makes things a lot easier. I made plans…a lot of them. And none of them have gone as planned. I know that I will end up where I am supposed to be. I didn’t plan on being a manager at a J. Crew when I graduated from college. But I decided to stop trying to control everything, and just see how it all plays out. We cannot control our success. Our success is not on a map for us to see ahead of time. We have to just do our best, surround ourselves with good people, stop comparing ourselves to others and just do our best.
By having a healthy relationship with ourselves, we can have healthy relationships with the people around us. Success cannot be easily defined. Each stage in your life, success has to be redefined. Right now in my life success to me is finding good people to surround myself with. In a year or two, that definition of success will change. Let me know how you define success in the comments. I would love to know!
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