Every new year, we sit down and reflect on the previous year. We look at the highs and the lows. Reflect on who we have met and the people we are not as close to as we once were. A lot can happen in 12 months, a year of life lessons and mistakes. When the clock struck midnight on New Years Eve, I jumped up and down celebrating and toasting champagne with my girlfriends. It was very different from previous years. Usually alone at midnight watching when Harry Met Sally with a glass of wine, so I did enjoy the change of scenery this year.
I decided that 2018 was going to be the year that I start to make decisions that benefit me. While that may sound very narcissistic, it is something that we rarely do for ourselves. For years, I relied on others for my happiness and kept comparing myself to what I saw on social media. While people were brunching on a Sunday morning on Instagram, I spent the day working a nine-hour shift at J Crew. I started to take the initiative and make plans with friends. Driving into Philly as much as I could even though I had work the next morning. One thing I have definitely missed the last few years is hanging out with friends. One of the difficulties of living rent-free back at home is that I live secluded from friends and that social life that I long for. I wish I could grab a cup of coffee and sit on the Art Museum steps with a friend on a Sunday morning.
In my effort to make my life better, I am taking the initiative and planning get-togethers with friends in advance. Scheduling brunch, designating a Saturday every month for a girls night out and most importantly letting my friends know my availability. A lot can happen by saying you are free on a day and looking for plans. Chances are, someone else in that group text is also available! On New Year’s Eve, my friend and I came to the realization that we both have people in our lives that are just not going to show up when we want them to. When the clock struck midnight and they still didn’t walk through the door, I am not going to lie, it kinda hurt. Why do we continue to invest so much time and energy in relationships with people that don’t deserve it? When you make plans with someone and they don’t even bother to cancel, but you see them on Snapchat with other friends because they found better plans? Since I still live at home, I am always volunteering to drive two hours to see friends even if it is just for a short visit. I care about my friends and want to invest time and energy in my relationships. However, this year has taught me that I need to learn when to invest more time in others or myself instead of a relationship that does not reciprocate.
In the same way that we wear cute shoes even though we know they are going to hurt an hour after wearing them. They sit in our closet and we still try to wear them again and again. We tell ourselves that this time they won’t hurt because we make ourselves forget about the bad experiences and just look at how cute they look with our outfit. As well as throwing out all of my uncomfortable shoes this month, I am also smarter in who I invest my time in. Why? It is simple, I deserve better. I deserve friends that want to spend time with me, relationships that are going somewhere and people that make me a priority. Making and maintaining friendships after college is one of the most difficult parts of adulting. Dedicate 2018 to making genuine friendships with the people that matter. Because you deserve better.
I encourage you all to make yourself a priority. Schedule a personal day for yourself, tackle that basket of clean laundry and wash your sheets. Call up a friend to get coffee or go on a walk together. One of my biggest life lessons this past year was that plans are not going to fall into your lap. If you want something, you have to go out and get it yourself! The photos in this blog post are from the last minute decision to go to the Barnes Foundation Young Professionals Night in Philly a few months ago. A friend reached out that she wanted to go, so we got the girls together and went. We looked at art, drank wine and had a lovely girls night. Don’t be afraid to send a text in a group chat to see who you can get together to go out and do something new!