My parents threw us an engagement party in their backyard in North Carolina a few weeks ago. My mom mentioned if we were free in June she could throw us a little party to celebrate our engagement. June was a busy month for both Jake and me. He’s constantly traveling for work and even though we put his work trips on our family calendar that hangs on the fridge, I still can’t keep track of where he is each week. I was in that weird part of the school year where we were winding down the school year but that meant we had to put in the extra work to put together an end-of-school-year field day and celebration party while also planning six weeks of summer camp that started shortly after the last day of school. When my mom asked what weekend worked for us in early June, I squinted at our family calendar for June and squinted to make sense of when we were “free” and gave her a weekend. The last week of school slowly made its way, and I spent my nights baking for school events and waking up early to get work done in the office to prep for summer or attend the Fifth Grade Graduation ceremony. When that last day of school came and went, I was scheduled to attend an all-day training at Temple University to learn “what summer camp looks like”. I found myself falling asleep in the back row of these workshops asking why these couldn’t have been an email?
I saw on my calendar how little time I had before camp started. I was sitting in another training on Monday when I realized that the next Monday camp started, and I needed a break. I asked/told work that I was leaving for North Carolina on Wednesday. That Wednesday, we slept later than we would have liked and started packing. We didn’t know what the long weekend at my parents’ house would look like, so we packed a little bit of everything, but the biggest priority was bathing suits. I think both of us were more excited about the pool time than the party! While packing we both realized we didn’t have anything to wear for the engagement party, so we made a mental note to buy something to wear down there.
Our original plan was to drive to my parents’ house on that Friday to be there for the party on Saturday, so my parents were still in cleaning and planning mode when we got there. I saw with my own eyes that this small party with her friends had turned into an event. Did you ever watch Downton Abbey or Bridgerton and see the servants running around the days before to prepare the flowers, the China, and the food? Well, my parents’ house was like that without the Mr. Carson and other servants there to do the work. My mom handmade invitations to her White Party where guests are instructed to wear white. She also hand-delivered each one to 50 of her friends in the neighborhood to invite them to the party. On Friday morning before 8AM, I drank my cup of coffee out of a Le Creuset coffee mug and watched as different parts of the party prep came together like a rehearsed dance with the choreography. At 7AM, a large tent went up in my parent’s side yard, and when the tent was just finished being assembled, the landscapers came to mow the grass just in time before the chair rental delivery was coming to drop off 50 chairs. This was all choreographed so well because a party for 50 people is considered a small get-together for my parent’s as they often entertain people in the hundreds in their backyard. As Jake and I watched the comings and goings of tent assembly, landscapers on their mowers mowing the large lawn and my dad on the phone with the chair rental company, Jake leaned in and whispered “ I sometimes forget you come from this world”. He didn’t mean it as anything negative, but my parents have always entertained in their home, and growing up meant I was there to assist and play hostess. It’s one of the things I look forward to when we get married. I can’t wait to be able to host parties and get-togethers with friends and family at our house like my parents did growing up.
One exciting surprise earlier in the day when Jake was making floral arrangements for the table and I was cleaning out the large cooler, my dad shouted for us to come by the pool, another part of my parents’ large yard. We were confused as to why we were told to do one task and then asked to go somewhere else, but when we went through the gate that led to the pool, Jake’s parents were hidden around a bush to yell out surprise! Jake’s family drove up from Florida to be able to celebrate our engagement with us and it was so nice for the families to arrange!
The party started at 5PM and at 4:45 PM I was still drying my hair. I told Jake to go down without me and I’d be behind him shortly. As I sat on the floor in front of the mirror in my bedroom at my parents’ house, it finally hit me. The last few weeks were busy with school and work, so I kept thinking of this party as just another thing on my to-do list. It wasn’t until I was sitting on the floor listening to Britney Spears on my phone that I had that realization. I am getting ready for my engagement party because I am going to get married. Oh my gosh, I am going to get married.
So much of this wedding planning has gone smoothly because we are older and have the money to select the vendors we want and can pay for vendors instead of DIYing anything. Even when the planning got stressful, like not being able to find someone available to do hair and makeup, within a week I was able to find vendors. For the most part, I’ve had fun planning this wedding and adding a lot of fun surprises for our guests to enjoy. But during this whole process, I don’t think we took the time to celebrate that we were getting married. So much of wedding planning is contracts and making decisions. While I was zipping up my new white dress and slipping on my heels, I decided it was time for me to lean in and enjoy being celebrated.
“So, I heard you’re getting married in a castle!” The party had already started when I walked out back, and the guests had drinks in their hands. A group of women came up to me to wish me congratulations and started asking questions about the wedding. These questions they already knew the answers to because my mom had been sharing our wedding details with her friends who were in awe. My mom saw me in the crowd and took me by the arm to introduce the Bride To Be to the guests. Jake and I earlier had volunteered to bartend, so we went out and got ingredients to make 3 signature drinks that were special to us: Pimms, Aperol Spritz, and Mojitos. Jake was sweaty behind the bar making drinks but saw me whisper “APEROL” and he nodded to let me know he heard loud and clear.
While being introduced to guests, I got close to the bar area and an Aperol was placed in my hands. I continued my nodding and small talk, sharing the wedding planning and answering questions the guests had. It was nice to see our two families mingling with guests and each other. Jake’s dad was helping him behind the bar, and Jake was having to explain again and again what an Aperol was since the guests had never heard of them. After Cocktail Hour, we made our way to the tent where my mom set up a long table with her crisp white tablecloths, fine white China, and a hint of greenery in the middle to go along with her White Party theme. Guests were awing at the attention to detail my mom had while planning this party. No detail was overlooked. My parents cooked and brought out dinner on large serving dishes placed on the table for a family-style dinner. Guests mingled and raised their glasses to toast the couple. Once the sun was set and the string of lights that my dad hung up in the tent was the only source of light, is when some guests started to say their goodbyes and when the good liquor came out. I kicked off my heels and sipped on a cold Aperol Spritz enjoying how wonderful the night went. Both of our families were sitting around the table, laughing with each other and guests. The same stories were being told and my mom after having a few drinks, waved her hand and said that’s a problem for tomorrow when someone asked if my parents needed help bringing the glasses and plates into the house.
I wish I could have turned that happy and carefree energy into a ball to put into a jar to save for our wedding. My goal for our special day in October is for guests to stay late, sit around a table with dim lighting, and laugh over a drink. The planning that goes into a wedding for 100 or a dinner party for 50 people is different in many ways but similar in the amount of work that goes into it. I hope that I’m just as carefree at the end of the night in October running barefoot on the lawn after a few too many glasses of wine.
If this party taught me anything, is that no matter what is going on with work and our lives, we need to slow down and truly enjoy the next few months as we celebrate we are getting married.
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