Category: advice

We are currently in quarantine for weeks longer than we thought we would be when we first heard about COVID. In theory, we always loved the idea of a week at home in our pajamas, some peace and quiet and not having to leave the house. I’ve been wearing the same clothes every week not because they are designer or the most fashionable but because they are the most comfortable. This time in quarantine has taught me that I fill up my closet with clothes each season because I think I need to have them but when I am given the option to wear whatever I want, those are the clothes that go unworn. The last few weeks have been a learning curve for all of us and we are adjusting to our new normal. There are a lot of negatives like grocery stores not having everything and more serious economic concerns but I try to think of the positives that have come out of this quarantine.

I go to bed and tell myself each night that everyone is where they need to be. This past Mother’s Day was difficult because I couldn’t see my mom but I know she is healthy and safe at home in North Carolina. A few weeks ago, a few family members and I started a book club that we do over Zoom on Sunday evenings. We laugh at each other because usually only one of us got all of the reading done but it’s a nice excuse to shower and dress in real clothes to catch up with everyone. I see more of my cousins who live just 20 minutes away on the Zoom call than I have all year because life was always so busy. For Mother’s Day, we have a Zoom tea party and got dressed up in our finest clothes and baked our own treats. That two hour long Zoom call was honestly more fun than if we had just gone out to breakfast. We are creating new memories and spending time with one another in ways that we normally wouldn’t.

I’ve been calling my parents more often to tell them about random things throughout the day. I’ll call if I see a squirrel in the backyard or if we have nice weather to get the conversation going and before long we spend a good amount of time on the phone going deeper. Before the conversations were about how work was and what mundane thing we did that day. We complained to each other when I would call my mom after work because they were easy things to share with one another because it was all surface level. Now I am sharing more with my parents and having deeper, more meaningful conversations. Long distance friendships can be some of your strongest friendships because there is like an unspoken rule that no matter how much time goes on, you can always pick up right where you left off. My friends who don’t live near my are often my biggest cheerleaders. It doesn’t matter how much you spend time with a friend but how strong the foundation of that friendship is. I’ve been thinking about friendships a lot recently because living in a city makes it difficult to find friends even though you are surrounded by people. But I do know that I can rely on friends I have had the longest because it’s never a competition of who cares more or spends the most time with you. It’s the people who value any time spent together or talking on the phone who who often have the strongest friendships because it’s not a competition.

A few weeks ago, my college roommates and I did a surprise Zoom call for one of the girls because it was her birthday. We said surprise and then stayed on the call for a long time just chatting and catching up. Our group text is being used to talk about funny memes and sharing Netflix recommendations. Since we have more free time, we are talking more than we have in the past which makes me so happy. It’s also nice to talk about our daily struggles and look for encouragement when needed.

Every week I will pick a friend I haven’t talked to in ages and just say hi. It’s a nice way to check in and start up a conversation with an old friend. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation but we usually make a promise to stay in touch more and make plans to do lunch once the quarantine is over. Just because we can’t leave the house doesn’t mean that we can’t talk with friends. I’m using this extra free time to talk with friends who may not live near me anymore and keep in touch with friends.

Another weird thing I have been doing is engaging with the people I follow on social media who I have never met. There are a few people on Instagram who are real people that I follow for inspiration and I’ve been making more of an effort to write positive comments and reply to their stories. It’s weird making friends in this age of social media and since we are all stuck at home why not start a conversation with someone on Instagram? I grew up with the rule to never talk to strangers especially on the internet, but I think this is the new way to make friends with people who have similar interests as you!

I’ve wanted to write this post for a while but just didn’t know how to put it into words. First I want to point out that there is a pandemic going on in the world right now. I didn’t leave my house for a month because of the fear of getting the virus or passing it onto someone else. I’ve been trying to stay positive throughout the day and on social media. Focusing on little victories like enjoying a cup of coffee in the morning before I start my day and getting dressed and putting on real clothes. I try to set myself up for success but then my inbox starts getting emails with the subject line saying SALE and my Instagram is filled with cute outfits and cute home decor. If this time at home has taught me anything it’s that I don’t need as much as I thought I did. Every week I keep washing the same clothes over and over because that is what I find to be most comfortable – not the trendiest. I’ve been using my Amazon Prime now more than ever to buy stuff for the house because I am spending more time at home. I’d rather spend $5 on broom wall holders to keep my cleaning supplies organized than a trendy top that will get lost in the back of my closet.

We went grocery shopping for the first time in weeks because we don’t have a car and we were waiting on masks. It’s a process to walk to the grocery store and back with our groceries packed in my canvas tote bags. I got more excited about finding the last box of Goldfish than I did when I got new clothes a few months ago before the pandemic. We have been eating out two times a week to take a break from cooking and to support local businesses. It’s great to order food but last week I was craving a fresh salad but we had run out of lettuce the previous week. This whole experience has me cooking really healthy and getting really excited about fresh produce!

If you have the money available, I encourage you to shop and take advantage of these amazing sales. But this pandemic has taught me that shopping is not going to fill that void or give my life purpose. It’s fun to hit add to cart and have packages arrive at your doorstep, but that exhilaration does not last long. This experience has taught me that spending 10 minutes at night doing a face mask and applying skincare products brings me more joy than buying new clothes. It’s the little victories like cleaning my floors or deep cleaning my kitchen because I have something to show for it.

If you do not have the money right now to buy all the cute things on sale, do not feel like you have to. Right now I am wearing clothes that I haven’t reached for often or completely forgotten about. I’m rearranging furniture to make my home feel like new. I’m lighting my scented candles during the day to make my home smell nice. I’m using products that were in the back of my cabinet as a special treat. If I get bored, I will do a quick workout and take a long relaxing shower to get moving.

I admit that I have done some shopping the last few weeks but I don’t look at it as a source of happiness. A few weeks ago I took everything out of my closet and put away my winter clothes and brought up my spring clothes to put in its place. I then made piles of clothes that I like to wear just rarely wear, clothes that don’t fit just right and special occasion clothes and put them in a box to put into storage. I was ruthless when I purged clothes because after weeks of wearing the same clothes over and over, I lost the attachment I once had to clothes I needed to have before.

Not that anyone asked but here is my advice if you want to do some shopping to take advantage of the sales but just don’t want to shop out of boredom. Shop with purpose!

It’s starting to feel like Groundhog Day, waking up every morning and it’s the same thing. I try to wake up every morning with a positive attitude and while some days I allow myself to curl up in pajamas and feel all the feels, I do have more good days than bad days. At first I thought this stay home at home because the world has stopped would last a month and then we would slowly go back to normal. But now while I watch the news (riots, lack of resources, people not staying at home) I have started to accept that this is going to go on for a while and it’s time to make a plan.

Keep your morning routine…make breakfast to start your day!
Wake up, wash your face, get dressed and go have breakfast before you do anything else. Take this time to enjoy making breakfast instead of rushing out of the door in the morning. It’s a weird time that we can actually sit down and enjoy our morning without feeling rushed.

Now that this is going longer than we wanted it to, it’s time to get out of pajamas and put on some real clothes. Getting dressed in the morning helps tell my brain that it’s time to get productive. At night, when I get out of my day clothes and into pajamas, it helps tell my brain that it’s time to get ready for bed. Also, leggings are allowed to be considered real pants during this difficult time!

I’m sure you saw a meme about girls running to get their haircut, nails done and waxed as soon as the businesses open up again. Just because we aren’t seeing people like we usually do, it’s nice to still look put together! Do something beauty related each day! Do your nails, a face mask, a hair treatment, put on mascara – something so you can look in the mirror and be happy with what you see. I’ve been letting my hair air dry and not use heat tools but I have been using leave in conditioner and lots of hair oil to keep it healthy. And my at home manicures are a new favorite weekly fun activity!

I’m sure I am not the only one who goes to bed feeling like they did nothing that day. You might have worked from home but it’s hard to feel accomplished when you don’t have much to show for it. To give yourself something to look forward to, watch a movie or start watching a tv series with a roommate. If you don’t live with someone, you can do it with a friend and FaceTime during it or just text while you watch it. It’s nice to have something to look forward to that is also social!

Check your finances. Even if you are working from home, check your bank account and move money from your checking account into your savings that you won’t touch. Right now we don’t know how long this will last or what will happen when things “go back to normal”. Stores are offering so many sales right now so if you are able to, definitely take advantage of the great deals! Just check your finances to see where you are and plan ahead. I like to check my banking account weekly and take note of what bills need to be paid and where my money is going.

Accept it and find a bright side. A few years ago my dad had his knee replaced and he spent the summer at home recovering. It was his first real summer vacation since 8th grade and while it was a weird adjustment at first, he was able to take advantage of the time at home and not having to work. My dad brought this up while I was talking to him recently and told me to accept that I am safe at home and I don’t have to do anything. I was newly unemployed before the pandemic applying to jobs and obviously that was put on hold. Financially I am good – I have money in my savings and I have a boyfriend I live with that can support us until I find a job. Now to look at the bright side of this and realize that this is the only time we will be at home for a long period of time with nowhere to go. Parents and kids are at home creating memories. You pay all that money for rent now enjoy being able to be home and use it! It’s a weird time to think of a bright side, but it helps me change the narrative in my head to not freak out.

Make a list of things to do. From home projects to clearing out your inbox, make a list of things to do during this time that you have been putting off and make your way through the list. Deep clean your house, organize a closet and purge. It helps create structure and feeling accomplished.

Reach out to your family and check in. I’ve been calling my parents more often just to say hi and texting throughout the day. A group of my family members created a book club and we meet on Sunday evenings on Zoom. We rarely talk about the book and not everyone gets to the reading, but it’s a great excuse to set up a call and chat.

This post is to encourage you to stay busy and to stay safe at home. I’m sure I am not the only one who has broken down once or twice because of what is going on and because of the unknown. I journal every day and wrote down this list for myself to change the narrative in my head from freaking out to trying to have more control throughout the day. I thought it would be good to share on here in case you need some encouragement. Please feel free to roll your eyes at my ideas for a routine or to use just one of these. Do what works best for you at this time.

Since we are spending a lot of time at home right now, I am taking this time to finally watch shows I never finished, never got to and rewatch the TV shows that just bring me joy. I like to have background noise on during the day while I get writing done or clean my house so I’ve been going through shows pretty quickly. I thought I would share some of my recommendations on the blog after my friends and I discussed some feel good shows to watch while they work from home.

FEEL GOOD SHOWS

It’s easy to wake up groggy and in a funk these days. It’s even easier to go to bed in a discouraged mood feeling like you didn’t do enough. After a few days of this bad mood, I decided to start my day telling myself it was going to be a good day. Sometimes just telling yourself that you are in a good mood, helps you put yourself in a good mood. A lot of it is mental but also how you start your day and how you end it. I like to start my day with a to do list and a few times a week I’ll do a brain dump of things that are on my mind and keeping me overwhelmed. Once I see it on paper, I can make a plan to tackle these obstacles and find ways to address what is making me anxious.

Here are a few things that are on my daily to do list that help improve my mood. Your mental health is always important and deeply impacts on the type of day you will have.

Make your bed every morning! It takes two seconds and it’s an easy routine to do every morning. When I make my bed, I feel motivated to get the day started and a little energized knowing I already accomplished something on my to do list! It also feels great to get into bed at night into a made bed.

Staying at home all day makes me feel like there is no point in washing my face in the morning. To help me get ready for the day, I recently started showering in the morning. It’s refreshing it and it really helps me wake up. Now is also the time to use all of those products you have in your shower since you have time for daily self care.

You don’t need to do a full face of makeup everyday unless that is what brings you joy. For me, it’s starting the day nice and clean and putting on real clothes. When I get out of my pajamas, it helps me turn on “work mode” and makes me productive. I’ve been transitioning from my night time pajamas to my daytime pajamas, leggings and a loose fitting top, and then put on a fresh pair of pajamas at night so I can tell my body it’s time for bed.

For a while, I would wake up and turn on the TV while I ate breakfast. Then before I knew it, hours had passed and I got nothing done. Now I like to start my day listening to a podcast while I make my coffee and will listen to music while I work. The TV stays off during the day. I’ll watch TV at night while I eat dinner and it’s become more of a treat then being the sole focus of my day. Fridays are when I binge watch my shows as a nice treat.

If you feel bleh and like the days blur into one, I encourage you to start a project. It can be an art project or a house project you have been putting off. Every day, I spend time in our guest room which was a room filled with boxes and junk from our move. Slowly I’m unpacking and decorating the space to be functional as a guest room and office. At the end of this, I should be able to have a completed project to show off!

Finally, create a bedtime and stick to it. I’ve been going to bed earlier than I normally would instead of watching another episode or scrolling on my phone. Now is the time to get enough sleep at night so you can wake up in a good mood with energy. An hour before I’d like to be asleep, I’ll take a Melatonin and read or I’ll watch an episode of a show I’ve seen a thousand times.